It’s Time to Look Stupid

Taken from "The Angry Therapist":

The most powerful tool we posses as humans is our capacity to love. Period. I don’t care how much money you make or how brilliant you are. If you don’t love big, you are small. Think about the people who have affected you the most in your life. Your family, parents, siblings, teachers, coaches, mentors, friends? Their love for you is what grabbed your spine. You’ve changed because of their love. It’s what made you want to be better. We die for love. It’s been this way since the beginning of time, before social pressure and fear of looking stupid. 

We know this kind of love is valuable because when we lose it, nothing matters. Nothing. Your problems, accomplishments, dreams, are meaningless. You rack focus and those things become a tiny blur. If you’re recently mourning a death or an expired relationship, you know what I’m talking about. Love is lost and it’s crushing. Without love, we are puppets. But here’s the thing. We have the ability to love over and over again, deeper and deeper. I believe we under use this ability. You know how people say we only use like ten percent of our brain? I believe it’s the same with our hearts. Fear prevents us from loving fully. Many have been burned so bad, they turn that faucet off. I understand that. But then you’re not living your full potential. You are in fight or flight mode, protecting yourself instead of living your truth. You are hiding. Not living. To live means to love. That’s what living means, uniquely exercising the greatest power your posses. Maybe you’re not happy because you are not choosing to exercise that muscle. Or you’re afraid to.

You can’t love fully without being transparent. Although we all have the ability to love, NO ONE on this planet can love the way you love. Our love is unique, each person loves differently and that’s what makes us beautiful. So if you’re going to love, fucking love. Love with everything you’ve got. Love fearlessly. Yes, you may get hurt. Chances are, you will. But if you don’t fully commit, you will never know your potential and the impact you can have on another. Many don’t love because they are angry. They have resentment. They hold grudges. Then it’s time to forgive. Because the act of forgiving is actually loving.

Love doesn’t mean to just throw the word around a lot. It doesn’t mean cards and cakes. It’s an internal process. You can love hard without announcing it. Love is a choice to open your heart. That’s all it is. But or many, there are reasons why they can’t. Or won’t.

I try to practice love in every aspect of my life, with my clients, friends, family, the barista at Starbucks. And I admit, it’s difficult. Fear creeps up. I feel stupid. Lame. But I will not allow something as stupid as me feeling stupid to prevent the greatest power I posses. You’re on this planet once. What’s stupid is you allowing your insecurities, ego, and pride to block your greatest gift.

Love until you feel stupid.

Then push past that.

And love until you feel powerful.

Because if you do, you will.

And it will change everything.