Ever since I can remember and until the middle of high school, my Grandparents would let me take a day off of school, to go to the fair. When I was little it was very exciting, I'm not sure which I was more excited about, going to the fair or the rebelliousness of missing school to go to the fair. This shows how much my Grandpa loved the fair. He did not like me missing school, even if I was sick. He would keep asking, "are you sure you feel bad enough to miss school?", "do you have any tests or homework you need to turn in?", but he had no problem throwing caution to the wind about my education when it came to the fair. My health, eh, it will get better, but the fair! The fair only comes once a year! Sure, we could have gone on the weekend, but he didn't want to deal with the crowds and the traffic. You weren't going to catch me complaining!
Even though I was a kid, I never went on any of the rides at the fair. I was with my grandparents for god's sake! Can you see Nana riding on the zipper?! No, we did not go to the fair to ride on the rides, we went there with a purpose...we went there, to shop. At our fair, they have about 10 buildings that I believe are actually air craft hangers. Way back when, all these buildings used to be filled with booths of people selling things. Now, some of them are filled up with kids activities, crafts and a bunch of other crap that no one cares about. Back then though, not only did the buildings seem a thousand times bigger, but they were all one, big, huge, infomercial. The free pencils, rulers, tape measures, and magnets! We would leave the fair with bags stuffed to the brim with swag. The gadgets they had were AMAZING! Nana, did you see that guy chop that tomato so effortlessly? We need to get one of those chopper things! Pa, did you see that guy dump a whole soda on that piece of carpet and mop it up with just one swipe? We need to get one of those moppy things! Nana, Pa, look! Dishes that don't break! Look, I can drop it on the floor and it doesn't break! We need to get these dishes! We actually did end up getting the dishes. My Grandpa bought them for my Grandma as an anniversary present. My favorite prank to pull when people came over, was to pretend to drop a dish and watch their face change waiting for it to shatter in pieces. I was referred to as "you little brat" a lot around that time. It wasn't until years later that we found out that those dishes actually could break. Especially during an earthquake.
Now, my Grandpa had a very specific routine when we went to the fair. You couldn't just be willy nilly about it. There was a very specific routine we followed and I don't remember ever straying from this routine. Each building was numbered and we had to walk through every single building. We had to walk up and down every single aisle, and make sure we saw every single booth. We could not miss a thing. My Grandpa would write down in his checkbook the number of the building so we would know which ones we had already been in, but more importantly, so we know which ones we hadn't been. We didn't have to go through them in any particular order, just as long as we went through all of them. I had a little routine of my own when I went to the fair. I always had to take advantage of the "One Ring Cleaned Free" deal, for every ring on my finger. I always had to refuse the ladies wanting to put mink oil on my hands. I thought they killed the minks to make this lotion, and I wasn't about to support the unnecessary killing of animals. I don't care how soft it would make my hands! I always wanted to buy an oyster so I could watch them open it and find out how much my pearl inside was worth. The first time I ever opened an oyster, it had 2 pearls in it, worth $30 each. You bet your ass I was sold on this! Finally, the garlic bread. I could never remember which building the garlic bread was in, but I figured it out when I walked in and my mouth would instantly water because someone, somewhere, within this building, was making something delicious. They were making garlic bread.
Once we were done with the buildings, it was time to move on to the outside shopping area. The outside shopping area is where I would dream of my adult life. It was a big blue tent sponsored by "Cal Spas" and it had everything you could want for the home and outdoors. Spas, pools, boats and bbq's. Pa, you see that boat over there, thats the kind of boat I want when I grow up. Ooh, Nana, you see that pool, I'm definitely getting that pool for my house. Oh look, pool tables! I'm totally getting a pool table for my house! I can't tell you how many times I heard, "I hope you're gonna be rich when you grow up, your gonna need to be to afford all this crap you want".
Things haven't changed much for me and the fair since then. I still try to go every year, but now, I'm left with no choice but to go on the weekends. Like my Grandfather, I too am a creature of habit and like the checkbook he carried in his back pocket, I carry his routine with me to the fair every year I go. I still stop and eat breakfast at the same restaurant that we used to stop at every year. I'm also very picky about who I go to the fair with. My Grandma is still my favorite person to go with and any friend who does not mind following my routine, I will allow to be my fair companion. If I think you would be the type to want to start going all willy nilly at the fair, then I think you would not make a good fair companion. No one gives away any swag any more, but the gadgets are still as ingenious to me as they were back then. I still think to myself when I walk by one, "I need one of those". The dishes are gone, now replaced by guys in polo shirts, telling you why you need DirecTV. I still walk by the boats, bbq's and spas and think, "If I were rich, I would totally buy that for my house".
Even though I was a kid, I never went on any of the rides at the fair. I was with my grandparents for god's sake! Can you see Nana riding on the zipper?! No, we did not go to the fair to ride on the rides, we went there with a purpose...we went there, to shop. At our fair, they have about 10 buildings that I believe are actually air craft hangers. Way back when, all these buildings used to be filled with booths of people selling things. Now, some of them are filled up with kids activities, crafts and a bunch of other crap that no one cares about. Back then though, not only did the buildings seem a thousand times bigger, but they were all one, big, huge, infomercial. The free pencils, rulers, tape measures, and magnets! We would leave the fair with bags stuffed to the brim with swag. The gadgets they had were AMAZING! Nana, did you see that guy chop that tomato so effortlessly? We need to get one of those chopper things! Pa, did you see that guy dump a whole soda on that piece of carpet and mop it up with just one swipe? We need to get one of those moppy things! Nana, Pa, look! Dishes that don't break! Look, I can drop it on the floor and it doesn't break! We need to get these dishes! We actually did end up getting the dishes. My Grandpa bought them for my Grandma as an anniversary present. My favorite prank to pull when people came over, was to pretend to drop a dish and watch their face change waiting for it to shatter in pieces. I was referred to as "you little brat" a lot around that time. It wasn't until years later that we found out that those dishes actually could break. Especially during an earthquake.
Now, my Grandpa had a very specific routine when we went to the fair. You couldn't just be willy nilly about it. There was a very specific routine we followed and I don't remember ever straying from this routine. Each building was numbered and we had to walk through every single building. We had to walk up and down every single aisle, and make sure we saw every single booth. We could not miss a thing. My Grandpa would write down in his checkbook the number of the building so we would know which ones we had already been in, but more importantly, so we know which ones we hadn't been. We didn't have to go through them in any particular order, just as long as we went through all of them. I had a little routine of my own when I went to the fair. I always had to take advantage of the "One Ring Cleaned Free" deal, for every ring on my finger. I always had to refuse the ladies wanting to put mink oil on my hands. I thought they killed the minks to make this lotion, and I wasn't about to support the unnecessary killing of animals. I don't care how soft it would make my hands! I always wanted to buy an oyster so I could watch them open it and find out how much my pearl inside was worth. The first time I ever opened an oyster, it had 2 pearls in it, worth $30 each. You bet your ass I was sold on this! Finally, the garlic bread. I could never remember which building the garlic bread was in, but I figured it out when I walked in and my mouth would instantly water because someone, somewhere, within this building, was making something delicious. They were making garlic bread.
Once we were done with the buildings, it was time to move on to the outside shopping area. The outside shopping area is where I would dream of my adult life. It was a big blue tent sponsored by "Cal Spas" and it had everything you could want for the home and outdoors. Spas, pools, boats and bbq's. Pa, you see that boat over there, thats the kind of boat I want when I grow up. Ooh, Nana, you see that pool, I'm definitely getting that pool for my house. Oh look, pool tables! I'm totally getting a pool table for my house! I can't tell you how many times I heard, "I hope you're gonna be rich when you grow up, your gonna need to be to afford all this crap you want".
Things haven't changed much for me and the fair since then. I still try to go every year, but now, I'm left with no choice but to go on the weekends. Like my Grandfather, I too am a creature of habit and like the checkbook he carried in his back pocket, I carry his routine with me to the fair every year I go. I still stop and eat breakfast at the same restaurant that we used to stop at every year. I'm also very picky about who I go to the fair with. My Grandma is still my favorite person to go with and any friend who does not mind following my routine, I will allow to be my fair companion. If I think you would be the type to want to start going all willy nilly at the fair, then I think you would not make a good fair companion. No one gives away any swag any more, but the gadgets are still as ingenious to me as they were back then. I still think to myself when I walk by one, "I need one of those". The dishes are gone, now replaced by guys in polo shirts, telling you why you need DirecTV. I still walk by the boats, bbq's and spas and think, "If I were rich, I would totally buy that for my house".
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